Tuesday, May 27, 2008

Letting Go

Since the new year, I've done very little blogging. When I started up my blog, I was in a serious transition and trying to come back to the world, remember how to laugh a little, and make a few new friends. It gave me something to focus on and do while I figured a few things out in my life, and it was great fun! But I'm in a different space now and this blog has served it's purpose. I picked up a few readers and made some friends along the way, but I realize that I'm not putting forth the effort to keep those connections going strong. Sure, I could just post something every so often, but what's the point? We all know, to keep a blog alive, you have to stay active. Since I'm not, it just feels like a loose end to me. A part of me will miss it, which is the reason I have put off writing this final post for a couple of months now since I made my decision, but I can still enjoy reading all your amazing blogs from time to time, right?

So, I love you all. Thanks for reading, and for your great comments. I'll be around...

Thursday, May 8, 2008

A Friendly Reminder

I hope you all have been getting your children in bed on time and making sure they eat a good breakfast in the morning, because it's end of year testing you know...and some of our husband's job's are on the line...

Does it sound like I'm mocking No Child Left Behind, because just to make it clear, I am. :) Sorry Mit, you lost my vote in part because of your education views. (I'm safe to discuss Romney now that he's out of the race, right? 'Cause I'm chicken when it comes to debating politics.)

Oh, and btw don't forget teacher appreciation week--I enjoy the festival of chocolate my husband brings home to share;)

Wednesday, April 30, 2008

F I N A L L Y ! ! !

I'll even turn the other cheek to that cold front coming and bringing below normal temperatures in, as long as it serves to preserve rather than freeze springtime. HAPPY SPRING!!

Friday, April 25, 2008

Complimentary Friday: At the Moment

So obviously, I haven't been spending much time at my computer. In fact the plan was to write my final post this week, and put blogging to rest--but instead I find myself taking a different direction for now. When I made the decision to create a blog, I was coming from one of the darkest periods of my life. I do not regret that time because I learned more from that experience than I could ever gain from a class or a book. In fact, the past nearly 10 years have been a very intense period of learning for me. I am now beginning to realize that although it's not true in essence, I have felt that this deep soul searching process had separated me from being able to connect with others in my perception of the "mainstream" world. I was caught in a trap of either/or. I felt I had to either conform to the general way of thinking that I had been conditioned to believe was "right", or rebel against it. I didn't realize the answer was actually in neither/nor. Interestingly, in living my life in either/or, I was not in alignment with what I absolutely know deep inside to be true. I was in a state of self-betrayal, of resistance, non-acceptance, and judgement. So the very things I believe so deeply in my soul to be the path to healing, peace, and perfect love which is the state of acceptance and unconditional love without judgement, or resistance were the very things I was ultimately not living by in my daily interactions with others for the most part. Perhaps my greatest stumbling block has been fearing what others will think. I have been living out of alignment because of this fear--letting my mind tell me over and over that I must be wrong because I didn't see the ways of the world as a whole or even the ways of the people in my religious culture to be--not intending to be offensive, but rather for lack of a better word--absolutely true. I have come to find what I know in part from discovering what doesn't work to bringing authentic and lasting peace and wholeness.

Finally in December, I had this shift. It was as if my soul said, "Okay, enough." I stopped trying to overcome, accepted the lessons from the pain, struggle, and inner turmoil, and the depression lifted. And I am not talking about a little bout of depression--I'm talking about mind-boggling, pain-wrenching, wishing I could cease to exist kind of depression--because death would not be good enough.

For several months now, the message from my soul kept resounding, "Let go." And yet that part of me--the part that has no fear, has not been running the show. And although I was often aware of this peaceful presence inside of me in the background, I let my mind and emotions dictate my actions and responses because they told me that I needed to resist the doubts within and hang on tightly with all my strength to what I am "supposed" to know. I had been taught that this is what faith is. I am now learning by finally heeding to the voice within to "let go", what faith really means.

It was amidst all of this, when I began to give up fighting the good fight, that I turned on the TV, (something I rarely do unless it's for my four year old or to watch with my family), and saw Oprah's new book club book, Eckhart Tolle's A New Earth. I picked this book up early on a Sunday morning for the first time, while still in bed and began reading. I resonated with every word, much was not new for me, but what was new, was the realization that had somehow slipped past me that I was not my thoughts or my emotions, (in other words my ego and pain body as Eckhart calls it), but rather that Presence that I've been aware of for many years now that was the observer of my thoughts and emotions--the very Awareness that my ego was urging me to resist aligning with. This understanding was like the missing piece to the puzzle that I've been searching for that made the truths I had learned over the years actually work. I suppose because my ego was the loudest and most forceful and fueled by a sometimes very overwhelming and other times very subtle fear-- and because it mirrored, for the most part, the perceptions of the world around me, I listened. In contrast, my inner voice, my soul, doesn't try to rescue me from myself, it never forces truth upon my mind and emotions, nor does it judge them. Instead, if I allow it in, it simply sheds light.

To my mind this sounds strange. But what I know is that I have found a peace inside that is dispelling the mental and emotional turmoil that has always invaded my happiness. There have been many personal experiences as well as healing techniques I have found that have temporarily connected me with this kind of peace, but immediately my mind in it's desperate attempt to regain control, would begin working overtime to convince me that I was crazy. What is different now, is that while I still listen to my mind, I don't let it possess me and become my identity as often. I am witness to miracles beginning to happen inside of me. I'm truly beginning to heal things I have been struggling with for years. There are still things and relationships that cause me to sink back into the illusions of my mind, but I accept that right now.

Last week, I was sent a fascinating email of a presentation by a Harvard brain scientist who had an amazing experience that is really in alignment with what I am learning. This video is what inspired me to post this week. This woman feels that this is a message worth sharing, and so do I. It's 20 minutes long, but time well spent if you're interested. Enjoy!

Just in case the video doesn't work, here's the link: http://www.BelieveAndManifest.com/1/bam/video1.php

Wednesday, April 2, 2008

Australian Idol

Yup, I'm still around. And life is good.

I love, love, love American Idol! I know, big deal, who doesn't? Honestly though, I really love the show! Growing up, it was Solid Gold for me. You can bet I never missed an episode. Thanks to that blessed invention of the DVR, I don't ever have to miss a single show of Idol either. And then even when the show goes over time and I miss Simon's response to my favorite performance of the night, I can be assured that You Tube will have my back.

When I was a little girl, I was completely in love with Andy Gibb. I'm telling you, I was going to marry him! I'm not kidding! Shadow Dancing was my very first album. I was 7 years old. To this day, I still listen to my Andy...and I still get all weak in the limbs. Here's one of his many Solid Gold performances, singing my favorite song.

Last night, another of those Aussie men did it for me. Just in case you missed it, here it is.

Friday, March 7, 2008

Checking In

I have really been out of the blogging loop--so much to get done--so many good things! I'm really going through a huge transformation on the inside and it is spilling over into my outside world. These inner and outer projects are taking up a bulk of my free time. I forgot all together about Complimentary Friday last week, and have not made the time to post this week either. I'll get to it when life provides a space and the timing is right. Until then, love you all!